i am going to answer the question that you have probably been asking yourself and probably the reason why you keep checking my blog. the question is..... When is Claire and Sterling going to have another baby?
Well here is your answer....
I have been silent about this subject but my silence is about to be broken.
I have been off birth control since July 2011. I take birth control, when i am not trying to get pregnant, because of my P.C.O.S. (want to know more about it read HERE.) When we were trying to get pregnant with Jaxson i was diagnosed with the PCOS and it only took me 2 rounds of Clomid, a fertility drug in a pill form, to finally get pregnant with him. I have now this time just finished my 6th round with no luck. I am going back to my OBGYN Thursday (8/2/12) to talk about what the next step is.
Now you might be asking yourself, would Claire and Sterling adopt? Hell yes we would! obviously! But i know i can get pregnant and my pregnancy with Jaxson was so easy. I would like to exhaust every effort, with in reason ($$$), and then we would go to the adoption round.
I know there is another member of our family waiting to join us. I know it's Heavenly Fathers plan and not mine. I love the saying "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." I am thankful for Jaxson everyday and cherish him every waking moment. With speech therapy, swim lessons and everything it takes to be Jaxson's mom i know that Heavenly Father is waiting to send me another life to take care of when I have figured out how to fully be the mom Jaxson needs me to be. Every day is a new day to be a better hair dresser, friend, wife, sister and person in general.
Are we going to have a 3rd child? i know why i am i thinking about this before #2 is even here? But i think that if we feel like there is a 3rd member of our family is missing i will think long and hard (and pray) about trying for another. This round has been hard on us. I am trying to not let it affect me but when you are counting days, peeing on ovulation sticks and having negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test it starts to wear on you. I don't know if i can do this a third time. I also dont know if i could be a mom times 3. Moms who can do it are my heroes. I totally understand and know and accept the fact that i am a better mom because i go to work. Again full time stay-at-home moms are also my heroes. I haven't cried about this yet but i am sure getting close to completely break down.
Sterling has been such a good supportive husband. He has been simply awesome. And he is an amazing dad to Jaxson. They are so cute together and Sterling wants to be involved with so much of Jaxson's life. I have friends and family that have husbands who work ridiculous hours and are never home, Sterling is the opposite. He is home every day by 530pm. He makes less money then my friends husbands but i would take less money for him home more any day. Quality time is so important to us as a family.
I want to thank everyone reading this, all 6 of you, for not asking about how we are doing or if i am pregnant yet. I really appreciate your patience. You have better patience is better then me. Patience has never been my strong suit. I know I know Heavenly Father is trying to teach me some patience, I guess i haven't figured it out fully yet. I also appreciate all your positive thoughts and prayers.
I have a lot of people who know what i am going through and what i am feeling which is nice. I also have people who share a toothbrush with their spouse and get pregnant. I also know that it could be worse. I know that we will overcome this.
I think that is everything that i wanted to get off my chest. If you want to know more, i am not quite sure if there is more, you can call or email me.
And please don't give up on me. Please keep checking back on this blog and pray for an announcement.
love you all
The Mendenhall Clan
5 comments:
i'm one of the 6!
thanks for sharing this. i did stop asking but not wondering, it's good to know what's going on (now i know what to be praying for). i can't imagine the emotional toll this is taking. hang in there. i'm sure your little nubbin' will be here soon. xoxo
you are a strong, patient, woman. give yourself some credit. you are going through something harder than most. You will be blessed with a different perspective because you want this next child so desperately. Hang in there and I'll celebrate with you when the news is good :)
Love you sis. When we were trying to get pregnant the first time I remember the aching feeling in my heart and arms at the thought of having a baby and waiting for the good news. And its ok too to let out a good cry :) We are here for you.
Stay strong Claire!! We went through lots of infertility too, so I know what you are going through!! If you ever need to talk, give me a call!!
Hey I'm catching up on blog reading and am glad you now have some answers about what's going on after the surgery. I had to smile when I read this post because I know what you've been going through, but am glad you can see past the frustration and focus on what your goal is. Sometimes the journey is the hardest part, but the end is the greatest reward...I would compare it to running a marathon, absolutely painful and the whole time you're saying you want to quit and wondering why you did it in the first place, but then you see teh finish line and you make it and all that pain and fear doesn't matter anymore because you did it, you finished the race!! You guys will get through it and the end of this race will be something better than you ever could have imagined!! And you're right, someone always has it worse.
And I know we laugh that Greg and I just share a toothbrush and we're pregnant - but that's a trial all of its own because we HAVE to be careful or we end up pregnant without being ready for it =)
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